Fuck life.

These last few days have been not great at all. I was fine until the weekend. Then my mum made me spend a total of 15 hours on my research project, which gave me a ridiculously nasty headache and completely drained me. Because of that, I have been exhausted all week. I handed my project folio up on Tuesday, and I got home on Tuesday and got ambushed by my mum asking me if I by any chance got an extension so we (read: she) could do more work on it. Because it wasn't already fucking perfect, thanks to her. I'm grateful for her helping me but honestly, basically doing the whole thing for me and making me spend so long on it, an then editing it like 7 times is a bit much. And it really pissed me off after the first couple of hours.
Anyway, my Wednesday was fine, until calisthenics. My coach was being a massive nazi and I got home and burst into tears because I was in so much pain. I hurt my back doing some thing where I go from a plié to middle splits to right splits, I twisted weirdly. And I was still exhausted, had lots of homework, and was really sore.
Then yesterday was probably the worst day. Well the day was fine, it's the nights that suck, because I'm at home. I was excited to Skype my amazing friend Bianca, except of course my dad made me get off it because "it uses up all the Internet". And this was AFTER he had a go at me about getting a C in my first biology test, and gave me a massive lecture about trying harder because I'm not doing well enough. He pretty much made me cry while on Skype to Bianca. Twice. How embarrassing. And then mum gets home and tells me that my Nanna, who is really sick, was back in hospital. I love my Nanna so much, I've always been the closest to her out of all my cousins. Luckily she's out of hospital again today, but she's still not doing too well :(
And finally, my parents are just being massive douches tonight. Dad had another go at me about school and something else, and mum yelled at me for being on the Internet when my brother was trying to play online on his playstation. Because that's so fucking important.
I have a HUGE PILE of homework this weekend. I don't understand maths, it doesn't make any sense and I feel so dumb all the time. I used to be smart. I have never got a C before in my life for anything. Last year I got straight As for fucks sake!
My parents are putting so much pressure on me to do well, and it's just making me more stressed, which really isn't helpful at all.
I'm just in a really bad mood lately, I'm over emotional and completely exhausted. The last three and a half days of term are going to be a massive struggle to get through.
Sorry for the massive rant. I tried to keep the swearing to a minimum. But right now I'm lying in bed in the dark with my music turned up really loud to block out the three other people in my house who are all taking turns either yelling at me or each other.
Life sucks. Have a nice weekend, I know I won't.

Sitting on Top of the World!

I'm happy :)

For the first time in a while, I'm pretty happy at the moment.
I'm sitting at school in my free, realising that I have no homework to do. I finished my maths during class, and we got our maths tests back. I got 27/42, or 64%. Usually I would be extremely disappointed in this, but I'm not really for a couple of reasons. One: it's formative, which means it doesn't count towards our SACE, which is good. Also, even my teacher said it was a really hard test, and there were 3 questions I didn't answer properly: a 6 mark one and two 5 mark questions. In the end I actually got one mark for one of the 5 mark questions, which I wasn't expecting. So I lost 15 marks overall, and they were on those 3 questions. Everything else that I answered, I got right! So I'm pretty proud of myself, seeing as a lot of people failed.
Next, I have also finished my English essay draft, so I don't have to worry about that until Monday now :)
Then I have my research project final folio which is due Tuesday. Last night I did a heap of work on it, and although it's now 34 pages long, I fixed everything I needed to and got some more research and sources done, and I'm pretty happy with it.
So at the moment, my only homework this weekend is putting the finishing touches on my folio!
Also, it's the end of week 8, which means there are less than 2 weeks of term 1 left! Then it's Easter and I'm playing in a tennis tournament up at the river.
And yesterday my Aunty and I organized the hotel we are going to stay in when we go to Sydney in November for LEGALLY BLONDE! We booked flights last weekend, and I'm so freaking excited! Now to get through two and a half more terms of year twelve... But I can do it! Come at me, increased workload and scary exams!
"Staying true to yourself never goes out of style."
Anyways, au revoir for now!
Love you all (my four followers! Hahaha!) xxxxx

To my beautiful wifey, Shauna,

I'm so scared that your mum will see this and then you'll never be allowed to talk to us ever again. I wouldn't be able to live with that. Even as it is, every day is a struggle to get through, knowing I don't have you to talk to anymore. When I was happy, or upset, or whenever really, you were the one I would go to. You were always able to make me laugh, or at least smile. Now, every time I see your name, whether it's a YouTube message like you've been sending me, or just someone else talking about you on twitter, it never fails to make me cry. I read the YouTube message in English the other day and burst into tears. I miss you so fucking much shauna, it hurts to think about you.  But I know you must be feeling worse. I have Bianca, Kelly, Carlie and everyone to talk to. You don't have any of us. I feel so sorry for you and I hope your mum gives your shit back soon.  When she emailed me, I literally broke down. Me and the girls talked for ages about whether we should reply or not, and finally decided not to. However, I drafted a reply which I never meant to send, it was just to get my feelings out. I'm not going to post it here just in case, but I hope that one day you will be able to read it and hopefully laugh with me.  Was it you that reviewed I'm Not That Girl like 8 times anonymously tonight? If it was, thankyou. I got a bit freaked out at first, but if it was you, then I love you :) if it wasn't, I still love you, but you can just forget I said anything about anonymous reviews ;) I have so much to say, but I'd probably better wrap this up because I need to go to bed and I'm bawling my eyes out writing this right now.  So let me say before we part... Shauna I love you so much, you'll always be my wifey. I miss you even more than I love you, which is a lot. Please don't do anything which could get you into trouble. I already hate myself knowing that it was my fault I got your stuff taken away, that night on Skype. If I wasn't allowed to ever talk to you again, I think I'd die. So please, for me, concentrate on school, spend time with your family, and try not to contact us directly. It kills me to say that, for selfish reasons, but it will be better for you in the long run if you just do as your mum says. I don't want you getting into more trouble, it's not worth it sweetie!  I miss you and I love you, always.  Liana xxxxx